Eric struggles every day with self doubt

Life is much better and a lot more relaxed for high-achieving individuals, right? Well, you would think so, but this is not always the case. 

Indeed, some high achievers secretly struggle with low self-worth and self-doubt. What can you do to turn things around? We have some insights. 

The Psychology Behind High Achievers’ Struggle With Low Self-Worth

Carl Rogers developed the theory of self-concept.  He believed there are three elements that help build one’s self-concept. 

The first is your ideal self.  This is the person you aspire to be.  The second is your perceived competencies at this point in time.  It is how you gauge the superiority of your skills in certain areas. The third is intrinsic self-worth, which is a belief in one’s inherent value as a human being, outside of your skills and achievements. 

Unfortunately, many high achievers solely sum up their worth by looking at their accomplishments and negating their intrinsic self-worth. Even more unfortunate is the more of a high achiever someone is, the deeper their struggle with self-worth might be. This is partly because they build their self-worth around being the smartest people in the room.

Self-Doubt Gives Self-Worth a Beating

So what happens when their organisation hires a smarter person? Or a more creative person? Or one that’s more charismatic? Their self-worth takes a beating. 

Another reason for this is comparisons. High achievers need to be the best at what they do. As such, they constantly compare their results and outcomes against other people. And again, if there is someone better, their self-worth takes a dip. This is certainly no way to live, and there are things you can do about it. 

Managing Low Self-Worth and Self-Doubt

Living in self-doubt and low self-worth is no way to live, and this is not something high-achievers consciously create for themselves. 

If you keep hitting the academic and career/professional milestones you had set out for yourself but grapple with feelings of inadequacy, it helps to know that this doesn’t have to be the rest of your life. 

1. Separate Truth from Fiction

Here are some myths about self-worth.  

• It is earned: there is a thought about self-worth being earned, meaning it’s the things you do that enable you to earn self-worth. By extension, this means that you have to work hard at it, and if you are not working hard and achieving, then you have no cause to feel great about yourself. 

• It’s external: another fallacy is that self-worth comes from external events in our life. Examples of these can be good grades, praise, recognition, awards, degrees, promotions, important-sounding job titles, and so on. When self-worth is pegged on this, it means you need to attain these eternal signals of affirmation to feel good about yourself. 

• You get self-worth from being better than others: this notion pushes high achievers to always try and be better than the next person. They have to work harder, they need to get promotions early and quickly, and they need to travel more, get better job titles, study for an additional degree, and so on, just to be better than the next person. This constant need to be the best also means an individual can’t be happy for others because they are always in competition. So if someone achieves something, they need to do it better. 

• You need constant proof: when a low self-worth high achiever achieves something, they feel worthy, and the self-doubt dips for a while. However, when the excitement of the latest achievement dims, then the same fears and insecurities are right there, waiting to be fed with another achievement to quiet down. 

The truth is, that everyone is born worthy. As such you do not need to prove your worthiness, or chase after accomplishment just to feel worthy. Similarly, you are enough as you are, with your capabilities and skills and in who you are outside of what you do and achieve professionally. Additionally, you don’t need to compare yourself to others or even outdo others to feel worthy. 

2. Recognise Thought Patterns and Work on Your Mindset

We think about much the same thing over and over during the day, the week, the month, and the year. If our thoughts tell us about our inadequacies, about what we aren’t good at, and about how much better others are, then this inner critique takes over us with the negativity. 

So how about you do the opposite, and fill your days with positive thoughts of your worthiness? In short, override the old habit of being overly –critical and settle for more positive affirmations. It doesn’t work overnight, it will take some practice, but it shall pay off. 

3. Let Go of Perfectionism

There is nothing wrong with setting high standards for yourself. In fact, this is a great way to stay motivated. 

However, perfectionism can set you on an unachievable path so you keep getting frustrated despite your best efforts. 

For example, assuming you are a doctor, perfectionism would mean 100% recovery and no casualties. But is this possible? Or an advocate and you set out to never lose a case, forgetting all other factors of the law and the practitioners you will be interacting with. Again, perfectionism would be unattainable. 

4. Pay Attention to Moments of Self-Doubt

You do not want moments of self-doubt to consume you, but don’t ignore them in their entirety. Instead, recognize and be mindful of negative thought patterns. 

Think about what brings these thoughts up, and the underlying beliefs you have about yourself that encourage the negative notions. Some beliefs that make us feel like we don’t deserve success are rooted in our childhood. Often, these are exaggerated, irrational, and unrealistic thoughts that make you anxious and insecure. 

One Last Thing…

As a high achiever, you are likely to be very critical of yourself. And this is both a blessing and a curse. It helps to know that the feelings of doubt and low self-worth apply to other high achievers as well. 

It also helps to surround yourself with people that speak your language. No one fits this bill better than members of the High Achiever’s Optimum Performance Program.

References

Beverly Hills Therapy Group, 2024. Indicators of Low Self-Worth in High Achievers. [Online]
Available at: https://bhtherapygroup.com/indicators-of-low-self-worth-in-high-achievers/
[Accessed 08 March 2024].

Cherry, K., 2022. What is Self-Concept?. [Online]
Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-concept-2795865
[Accessed 8 March 2024].

Martin, S., 2017. Why Highly Successful People Struggle With Low Self-Worth (and How You Can Reclaim Your Self-Worth). [Online]
Available at: https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2017/05/why-highly-successful-people-struggle-with-low-self-worth
[Accessed 08 March 2024].

Wilding, M., 2024. How Highly Successful People Handle Self-Doubt. [Online]
Available at: https://melodywilding.com/highly-successful-people-handle-self-doubt/
[Accessed 08 March 2024].